Apocalypse 101: do's and don'ts

Prepping for the end of the world might seem a bit too much. But remember this: apocalypses usually don’t send a letter one week before arrival. They happen when you really really really weren’t waiting for it. So, you should have a bag with a knive, some water, warmth blankets, matches, first aid kit, flashlight, sleeping bag and a map ready for disasters. Just put it somewhere.

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Now, if you want to know what to do, and even more important what NOT to do during an apocalypse, we thought it might come in handy to offer you a simple, yet necessary list of do’s and don’ts. We are not responsible for any deaths and this list is not water proof. Here’s all you need to know to survive alien attacks, zombie attacks and power black-outs.

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Do’s:

  • Find ally’s: you can’t survive an apocalypse on your own. Who’s going to watch your back while you hunt for food?!
  • Bring a book; okay not really necessary for survival but it can come in handy when you’re in a safe spot with nothing to do.
  • Get out of the city: logical, right? Cities are targets, no matter if aliens have taken over causing an apocalypse or if it’s caused by nasty zombies.
  • Find shelter; duh. You can’t run around all the time, you must sleep and eat. I’d go for a grocery store in a village but an abandoned house will do.
  • Find weapons; yes, I advice you to bring weapons. Zombies, aliens, bad politicians (not naming anyone…), we all need to defend ourselves from them.
  • Bring loads of bottles; imagine suddenly having to move out of your safe place, don’t you want to keep some water on you to not die while you could be wandering around for days to get to a safe place WITH WATER again?!
  • Carry around a first aid kit. It might just save your life.

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Don’ts:

  • Befriend the apocalypse-causers; this won’t help. Apocalypses destroy the earth, the people/things that cause them can’t be trusted.
  • Bring a stereo against boredom; have you SEEN The Walking Dead? Don’t make so much noise, my gosh.
  • Bring anything of value; In Mad Max, they were after gas. Imagine bringing diamonds and coming across those kind of people. If people are still alive, of course.
  • Go into big cities: because YES you will find other people, but as we’ve seen in The Walking Dead, big cities will usually have lots of zombies/diseases/bad people. So don’t go near big cities unless there’s no other way around it.
  • Trust people: unless you trusted them before the apocalypse (and even them), just don’t trust them. The minute they can benefit from your death/leaving you behind, they will. Trust me. (Finding allies is OKAY, just watch your back).
  • Stay in one place: we instructed you to find shelter, but keep moving. Staying in one place will attract people, zombies and aliens. So eat, sleep, move and repeat.
  • Make a fire: people find see it, find you and maybe kill you. There’s of course that 1% chance they just want to talk about the weather, but chances are you will get killed.

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